Child uninterested in family visits - Adoption.com Forums

Our foster daughter complained to us one day when we were getting her ready for her family visit. She didn't want to go.

Me: "Why?"

Her: "It's boring! I won't have any kids to play with"

Me: "Well, it's for spending time with your parents."

Then she sort of shut up. And I had to coax her a little more.

Her: "Because all they do is sit there."

She confides in me that they just sit and watch tv. They're not interacting with her. She's just bored. I asked her to tell them so they knew it bothered her but she doesn't want to hurt their feelings. Then I suggested she tell the family member that's authorized to supervise the visits and she doesn't want to tell her because she'll just tell her parents.

Honoring that (cause usually i would have just told the family member) I shared this information with our caseworker. She brought it up and said that it basically fell on deaf ears at their last meeting. They confirmed, however, that this is pretty much how visits go.

I kind of want them to interact with her more. She is CRAVING it. She is disappointed and bored at visits. This is a kid that does require constant stimulation and can get overly needy as she tries to get attention in anyway possible.

Any way we can help her either accept that this is "family time" or help her try to encourage them to participate in activities? She constantly perceives that nothing ever goes right for her. We want to reinforce that she has some control over how things go (i.e. looking on the bright side of life) etc. I don't think this is the right place for that lesson... just frustrated with her having to go to these visits when they just aren't being fully taken advantage of.

Source: http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/408804-child-uninterested-family-visits.html

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